The concept of birth, life and death are universal across all living beings regardless of species type, gender, religion, race, ethnicity, class and geography. Every living organism whether humans, animals, even plants goes through these natural phenomena in relation to either one self or others. Even though these concepts are natural, they are viewed very differently. Birth is given the connotation of being beautiful, bright and as the beginning of life. It is celebrated with hope. And death is kept secretive. It is considered to be inauspicious; most cultural practices have painted it to be so dark and gloomy. We know and feel our life through our five senses (sight, hearing, touch, taste, smell) but the process of after-death can’t be seen with our bare eyes. When we can’t see or explain the things that occurs to us, it naturally scares us. But before death, we all are equally vulnerable.

Lack of acceptance of death as a natural process causes suffering in us.

Death is very untimely and nobody knows how they will die. Most of us continue to live our life without confronting, analyzing and thinking about the idea of death. Death is viewed as the end of life including both our mind and physical body thus, we write R.I.P (Rest in Peace) these days when someone passes away. According to Buddhism, our mind or soul doesn’t end with death, dead only ends the workings of our physical body. Our mind is always in a state of continuum. Mind doesn’t begin during our conception nor does it end with death. We don’t really rest in peace when we die, we are busy with our reincarnation until the day we attain enlightenment. Leaving aside this debate of beyond the worldly things because some might be a believer of rebirth and some might not. But one thing that is commonly shared is we all mourn the dead. And we mourn with more intensity when it’s the death of our beloved ones because we are somehow selfish with our attachments. But death is really neutral and comes in different forms; in front of death, we are all blood bags. We, human beings are funny creatures because I don’t know how animals or other living organisms perceive death. When we can’t reason the death, we blame it on our fate and leave the soul of the dead in the hands of a Grim reaper or Ashang choegyal. And that’s how we try to console the souls of the living.

So, if death is feared that much, why some people end their own life?

Suicide is an act that involves taking one’s own life intentionally and voluntarily. This word is derived from Latin sui meaning “of oneself,” and cida meaning “to kill”. And in Tibetan language, the word for suicide is “Rang-shi”, rang meaning “self”, and shi meaning death.

My definition of suicide is “Suicide is the act of taking one’s own life intentionally and voluntarily when one’s mind is distorted and is suffering.” When death is viewed with such fear and suffering by everyone, the act and thought of suicide raises various conflicting questions and fuels so much negativity. We often judge them with our viewpoints, beliefs and through our own perspectives. I have come across many people in our society hating the dead ones for dying, for leaving them behind, for not being productive with their life, for committing a heinous crime, for being irresponsible, for being a coward, for being selfish, for not thinking about others, for being impulsive, for being indecisive, for being narrow minded, and most of all for not sharing their sorrow.

But I think we are missing out an important factor, and that is to empathize with them. Nobody wants to end their life if they are happy, keeping in mind that our Happiness mainly depends upon our mental state. When one’s mind is totally distorted with the reality and is not able to view the half full glass state of one’s life, how can we blame them for taking their own life. Instead, we should sympathize and reflect upon ourselves. We all must have felt intense physical pain at some point in our life be it bruises, cuts, broken bones, stomachache, headache, menstrual cramps etc. Also, we all must have gone through emotional challenges out of anger, guilt, jealousy, hatred, sadness, confusion, loneliness and hopelessness in our life. Try recalling such memories and re-feel those pain. And just imagine yourself feeling such physical or mental pain of such intensity continuously for days, months, and years.

What do you think you would do when you are going through such situation? I personally don’t think that I could bear such pain nor my brain would function in way to call for help in such state. By saying this, I am not saying Suicide is the right choice nor I am saying that nothing can be done at an individual level. But I am questioning our society’s perspective about the victims, for being too judgmental, for lacking empathy and for blaming the dead soul. And some of the suicide prevention measures and practices are not inclined with the need of the people who are having suicidal thoughts nor are they addressing the root cause. For example: “Reach out, Seek Help”, by saying this message to those who are having suicidal thoughts, I don’t think it will help in preventing suicide in anyway. When a mind is filled with intense suffering, rarely one can make logical judgements and decisions. Instead this message should be targeted towards people who are mentally stronger and healthy. And also, mental health conditions cannot be treated like a disease in a hospital setting with patient- doctor approach. The treatment measures of mental health problems should be such that it heals the mind and trains it to be able to handle both external and internal conflicts by itself. We all are equally

susceptible to mental health problems so let’s not treat others who are going through a tough time with isolation and taboos. We should take the responsibility of reaching out to those who are not mentally strong within our own small circle first. That’s how we can bring about positive change in our community. We are all interdependent. Therefore, we should be kind and compassionate towards one another because no one can exist independently.

To Think

• As per International Suicide Statistics, Global suicide rates have increased 60% in the past 45 years. What and where we are going wrong?
• We should question the effectiveness of the suicide prevention interventions and how we can make it more impactful.
• Existing Suicide Prevention program are majorly self-oriented, patient-caregiver demarcated, instead we should have more community-oriented programs.
• Saying “Don’t have suicidal thoughts, be mentally strong and happy” is easy. But being physically and mindfully present with them in such a state is difficult.
• Mindful Listening is better than giving your feed backs in solving complex mental and emotional problems of someone.
• Everybody has problems in their life so don’t be too quick to judge someone.

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